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When Mrs. Stanton nodded, Megan knelt in front of me and pinned my shirt together but I noticed her fingers seemed to dawdle as they touched my still erect member. Or was it my imagination?I thanked Megan for her help and tried to turn my attention to class work. If I let my mind think about Megan, who was a budding beauty in her own right, I'd never get rid of this hard-on. Mrs. Stanton shushed the class and said that she was sorry for having made a judgment call and that was the reason why people should not judge others on looks but what was inside them. That brought laughs from several of the guys and I heard someone mutter "Yeah, she'd like to have that inside her" followed by more laughs.Those fifty minutes were the slowest period of the day. When the bell rang ending my school day, I was deliberately slow packing up my bag so the others would leave and let me go in peace. Megan rose and turning to me said "Hey, Albert, if you'd like to get together to study sometime, let me. Me, not so much. I just never felt right. It seemed to me that faith inGod and following a Christian path is supposed to settle all your internalproblems, but it never seemed to do it for me.It was not until I left home for my rumspringa that everything changed.Maybe you don't know what that is? Rumspringa is a period of time givento young people of the Amish faith to experience life outside ourreligious community; to sample the vices of the world outside, andhopefully return to the faith with a better understanding, and acceptancethat the Godly path is the right path.I really did not want to go. I would have been happy to stay. I thoughtthat the problem that I was having, whatever it was, was about me, andtherefore the answer was prayer, not a month of sin. But my older brotherand some of the other guys my age pressured me into venturing out.I never thought I was gay. I like the girls in our community, and Ienjoyed being among them. I thought those feelings were normal. I.
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